I’m sorry I can’t be the friend you need me to be…

I needed to write this, not just for you but for myself too. 

I know things have changed, I know I’m not the friend I once was. 

I know I haven’t been the greatest friend, I’ve been distant, I’ve been selfish and that’s not friendship. 

Truthfully I suppose it’s been easier to deal with my health issues alone, you’ve tried to understand, you’ve tried to be there but unfortunately I don’t think you’ll ever truly understand. 

I know you feel disappointed, angry and hurt when I let you down…. I wish I could say I’d make it up to you- but this is a promise I can’t commit too. 

There are days where I struggle to get out of bed, holding any sort of conversation is draining, the simplest tasks exhaust me. 

I’m not ignoring you, I just can’t deal with life on those days.

My illness is preventing me from being a better friend to you, I don’t resent that, it’s the card that life has handed to me. 

I hope one day we are able to start where we left off, make new memories, experience life together. 

For all those times I’ve cancelled plans, for those times I’ve let you down, for the times I’ve not supported you, the times I’ve been a bad friend….

Thank you for trying to understand….

I’m sorry

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