What I really mean when I say ‘ I’m okay’…

“I’m okay”

The most predictable and standard response to ‘ how are you?’

Whenever someone asks me how I am, my immediate response despite how I’m feeling is to say “I’m okay”.

Are we ever really okay?

Why do we do this? 

Your whole world could be falling apart and as soon as someone asks you how you’re doing/If you’re okay you give the answers ‘ I’m okay or I’m fine’.

The truth is I’m probably not okay, I just don’t have the energy to go into why I’m feeling this way.

It’s physically and mentally draining fighting your own body and your own mind everyday, sometimes something has got to give.

It’s the easy option…. you’re far from ‘okay’ but it’s easier than telling someone……

 I’m sad,down,depressed,lonely,angry,hurt….

You get where this is going.

It’s hard to explain the way you feel sometimes, most of the time you don’t even know yourself.

Struggling to live life normally with a crohnic and mental illness, most days I’m not okay.

Getting out of bed some days can be exhausting, holding conversation some days can be draining.. this is me now.

We have no choice but to go on, we are given one life and we must live it, no matter what hurdles or obstacles are in our way- this is the hand that life has dealt us.
Most of the time we can’t help the way we feel and despite numerous attempts by family and friends it won’t change the way you are feeling.

Thank you for being there for me….

I’m sorry, on some days I’m not okay, thank you for sticking with me. 

This is me now. 

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